Date: 2008-05-09 00:00 Subject: our_issues with prefersthecalm Security: Public

What do you see as the biggest problem you and your significant other are facing in your relationship?


Abby and I had a great relationship right up until we got married.

Abby would say I'm being glib, and she'd be right and I'd be pissed off about her being right and then she'd get pissy because I was mad...

Ladies and Gentlemen - I give you scenes from a marriage.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Abby was responsible for the way things turned out. I'm not that stupid. Abby's an amazing woman and I love her. She's strong and intelligent, the best kind of mother our kids could have and hell on wheels in bed. Not to blow my own horn goddamnit Noah that's not DIRTY but I did my best to be a good husband. I loved my wife and I loved my kids and for fuck's sake isn't that supposed to be enough?

When I was growing up my parents made it look so easy. I don't ever remember a time when they went at each other like Abby and I did towards the end. Sure, we tried to keep it from the kids but we were like the Hindenberg I'm pretty sure everyone saw us going down in flames.

I know my work got in the way. I knew it would even as I accepted the position as a Hit Wizard. I knew when the words came out my mouth that it was likely going to be the end of us. But even knowing that? I did it anyway. I had to do it. Sure, marriage is about compromise and sacrifice and all that swell sounding stuff but at the end of the day if you give up who and what you are in the name of someone else, what's the point?

Abby never really got over me taking the job, and I never really got over that. She didn't want that life and I couldn't live without it. Maybe I am the selfish prick in all of this. Honestly? I probably am. But I can say truthfully-- I never wanted to hurt her and I never wanted to hurt my kids. But I think even now with things as touchy as they are between me and Abby they've got to be better than they would have been if we'd stayed together.

So that's where we're at. She's bleeding and I'm bleeding and so are our kids. And it's not like a break up when you're single and you're fighting it out about who gets what records...Abby and I are together for life. Drew and Noor guarantee it. We're never going to be apart no matter how seperated we seem.

Now it's just a matter of learning to live with it...and not throttle one another.

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